Sometimes you have to go around the world to get back home; it’s advice that many receive when they’re young but won’t understand until later in their life. Los Angeles–based filmmaker and visual storyteller J.J. Anderson explores this concept with her new short film “Sometimes I Feel Like I Am Almost Home,” which you can view at the California African American Museum (CAAM).
“The title really points to the fact that we’re constantly doing the work to find ourselves. And we might not quite be there yet, but it’s right around the corner. I think that’s good enough.” Anderson said about the creation of the film’s title and concept. “The language of I am. I think that’s the part that’s good enough for me, that I am, and I exist. You know, the idea of home for me is more of a feeling and less of a place.”
Anderson’s family tree stems from North Carolina, and reminiscing about those days with family members is where her feelings of home begin.
“North Carolina, inspires or ignites a lot of those feelings, you know, the feeling of running through a field, the feeling of being with cousins, laughing with cousins, the feeling of being on a race track with my family watching, watching the drag strip, the feeling of swimming in a lake and the cypress trees constantly blowing, that’s a feeling that I carry with me, you know.”
Anderson is an only child, and for a good part of her childhood, she had to entertain herself during these moments. Her dad realized he had a creative daughter brimming with potential. “I had a conversation with my dad, and he said, ‘Ever since you were a baby, you would take pots out of the cupboard and you would build them, and you were always building things and making things.’ But this revelation had the opposite effect, as Anderson didn’t embrace her artistry at first. “I had just totally shut that out. I had imposter syndrome due to a lack of education in art. I’m a self-taught filmmaker, but if I can look back to my life and look back to when I was a kid, I was always directing scenarios, it was just in me, and throughout my journey as a creative, especially with this film, I was getting back to my inner child.”
For Anderson, this film showcases the full expression of her artistry. “This film incorporates so many wonderful elements, such as music and visual language. But then you’re also dealing with, particularly in documentary work, you’re also dealing with other folks and their emotions, how they’re showing up that day, and your own mental capacity.” Anderson said. The film shows everything that can be great and beautiful in life all into one. And so, with filmmaking, I always use my feelings to guide that.”
Sometimes I Feel Like I Am Almost Home” —CAAM’s first major institutional commission by Anderson, curated by Executive Director Cameron Shaw—is a meditation on identity, ancestry, and the shifting meaning of home. The film is available to view until March 22.