Rearing a child is arguably imminently more difficult than any endeavor confronting womankind. Raising a child of color, especially an offspring of African descent in an environment shaped by Euro-centric influences is all the more harrowing.
“A Black mother’s love is the strongest force in the world.”
—Maya Angelou
Since arriving on these shores in the Western Hemisphere some four centuries ago, the Black family was encumbered with the immeasurable trauma of slavery. The circumstances of taming a fertile wilderness meant procuring cheap labor from an exotic land an ocean away, where these unfortunate inductees into the realm of slavery were abducted and transported across the Middle Passage.
Once they arrived in these surroundings away from the familiarity of clan or tribal link, they found that the concept of what we today call “nuclear family” was impossible, as the prospect of family separation was likely or inevitable, according to the dictates of those who held title over them. This meant the likely sale of a father from the household, the sale of a mother, or the trading away of children to maintain the financial stability of the plantation hierarchy.
Even after abolition, the fortunes of the newly emancipated remained at best precarious, as the conditions of their existence likely encouraged family disintegration. And so the phenomenon of the fatherless household, rare or nonexistent among the general population, became a staple in the “Negro” community. In the event a unit was blessed with a duo parenting union, the harsh realities of life in America meant the male head of household could likely be eliminated via violence of the specter of c, a factor that continues to this day.
This was especially true of men who were outspoken or dared to show the proper amount of servitude in a hostile environment. Pan African icon Malcolm X’s path to conscientiousness was facilitated by an upbringing seasoned with lawlessness and antisocial behavior, circumstances rooted in a childhood punctuated by the murder of his father Earl Little when he was six years old. Malcolm’s uncles had been killed by racist violence, and Earl Little met the same fate through his embrace of pro-Black causes and political activism.
His wife Louise Little succumbed to a nervous breakdown from the stress of her circumstances and was institutionalized. The end result had her children placed into foster care, which set the course of Malcolm’s life. Later on he reflected on her impact on his adulthood.
“I have rarely talked to anyone about my mother, for I believe that I am capable of killing a person, without hesitation, who happened to make the wrong kind of remark about my mother,” he revealed.
“So I purposely don’t make any opening for some fool to step into.”
For him, like many men of multiple generations, his mother remained a beacon in his psyche in spite of her absence.
The complicated relationship of Black men with their mothers nurtured a verbal game of insults passed down within that community called “Playing the Dozens.” Simply put, two contestants exchange disparaging or offensive remarks about each other, ultimately derogatory statements about an individual’s mother. Not uncommon in other cultures, it holds a unique space within the Afrocentric strata. Also called “signifying,” it prompts participants to demonstrate their facility with words or verbal ingenuity, spawning creative insults beyond the pedestrian, unimaginative “your mother wears combat boots.” This practice of “mama talk” has also been known to incite violence.
These examples, pejorative though they may be, highlight the esteem motherhood is held throughout the African American community, a testament for the other insurmountable job Black women undertake in raising the Black child. The late 20th century rise of the Black athlete to prominence on the media arena came with its demonstrations of adoration, particularly in the National Football League. After extraordinarily spectacular feats of prowess on the gridiron, African-American players initiated the now traditional “Hi Mom!” salutation on the sidelines for national exposure, an accolade for the inhuman sacrifices endured by these unsung heroines of the single parent household.
Alas, with the close of the last century and the dawn of a new millennium, new challenges emerge to test the resolve of the unbreakable Black woman. Contemporary American necessity has expanded the reality of single parenting outside the realm of the Black experience into the bastion of the middle and upper class. This is in addition to the scourge of narcotics addiction and the unresolved plague of the Prison Industrial Complex.
In light of these past and present obstacles, let us pause to acknowledge the limitless contributions these intrepid women have given to their neighborhoods, this country, and the world.
“Every setback you face as a Black mother is a step towards a brighter comeback.”
—Maya Angelou