Dear Ms. Norwood:
I recently read your article entitled “A Black Woman’s Dating Dilemma.” When I first read it, I said ‘here we go again. Another bashing of the Black male.’ Then I said forgive them (referring to LaShaun Williams) they know not what they are saying.

Every since the White man came to America and took all the land from the Indians and enslaved Blacks, he has put himself on a pedestal and declared himself superior. Here we are centuries later still putting him on pedestal and making him superior.

In a lot of Black environments, (home, school, social networks, clubs, etc.) within minutes of a conversation a Black male or Black people are spoken of negatively, e.g., Blacks are lazy, they are thieves, they are never on time, or something, When are we as a people going to realize that we are shooting ourselves in the foot every time we do that. Before we can be respected, we have to first respect ourselves.

The behavior of people is based on their intelligence and social and economic status. It is not a race. Apparently you have never seen Jerry Springer or Maury Povich, when just as many Whites are talking about cheating and babies out of wedlock and total irresponsibility’s.

Maybe you have never seen the gossip shows, or Judge Judy or Joe Brown and noticed the unwed White fathers, etc., there too.

Somehow when one of us, or several of us ,does something negative–it becomes all of us. And when a White man commits a crime, not much is said. But when a Black does it, it is oh so awful. Not once in your article did I see”some Blacks.” It was Black males.

Your article was definitive, and absolute about what the Black male doesn’t do, and conversely how the White male does …

I worked with people for 30 years, and found that some of my best employees were from all races. I also found some of my worst employees were from all races.

I know a lot of responsible Black males, and Black males who are not intimidated by successful educated women. I am one of them.

Your article was an insult to the thousands of Black males with strong family values and structures, who care for their women. I also think you insulted the Black males (who) are confident about themselves and their manhood, and don’t fear their masculinity (being) challenged.

The reference made about the 77,000 White men to 11,000 Blacks was just something not thought out. Blacks, I think, only make up 12 percent of the population. Naturally, if you have 100 million people in one group and 12 million in another, you are going to have a higher percentage in the larger group.

Would Bill Cosby, Will Smith, Jay-Z, Denzel, Samuel L. Jackson, and all the thousands of successful brothers change your perception of the Black male.

The actual truth is that there are more women than men on planet earth. It is just hard for women of any race to find that compatible mate. I saw in Paris, South Africa, Australia, Japan and Mexico how women outnumber men. And I see it here all the time in all races.

I am a widower and have been on several dates. I’ve dated the Ph.D.s and the average Jane Does.

There are a plethora of reasons people are not compatible. It could be baggage, (both men and women sometimes have baggage) beliefs, hobbies, habits, desires, etc. And again that’s any race.

Another wrongness about your article is that people are going to read it and believe it. When I was around 14 years old my uncle told me to never marry a Black woman (meaning dark-skinned), because they were evil and mean. I believed that until I grew up and found out differently.

So Juliana, before you bash another brother or co-sign onto someone else bashing a brother, think about all that I have said and then some …

There would probably be more Black males at least available, if we were in a more equal society where a brother would not have to be over-qualified to get the better job. Currently the unemployment rate in California is 12 percent but for Blacks it is 16 percent. Or if the justice system wouldn’t imprison our brothers for years and give the White male a suspended sentence for the same offense.

Let’s start with ourselves and talk about all of the positive aspects of the Black male and people. Stop glorifying the White male as the news media does daily. He doesn’t deserve it. Talk about the brother with college degrees, successful businesses, careers, marriages, and fathers (who) are at home with their children. And the brothers (who) would walk on water for their women.

The respect has to start with us.

Sincerely,
Vincent Baker